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I'm starting to suspect that we weren't the heroine and her companions, but rather the imposter and her henchmen. Somewhere in this world, there might be a band of heroes with a sense of justice who truly wanted to save the world, but we were only a bunch of scoundrels who pretended to be them. The king would realize his mistake, and soldiers with arrest warrants would bust down the door and arrest us all. Even though I didn't eat much, I still felt queasy in my stomach, because I would grow nervous every time someone entered the pub. Luckily, it wasn't a soldier. It was an old man whose age was impossible to tell. He had white hair, white eyebrows, and a face full of creases, and he looked like a sage from a fairytale. He had such a distinctive aura around him; you might think that he was here to instruct me in battling or something. I dunno what he was thinking, but he turned around and gave me a sharp look.
“……You want to leave here?”
You can suspect all you want. I surrender.
The old man let out a sigh as cold as the winter gale, and turned around to Haruhi’s table.
“Brave Haruhi.”
“What?”
Haruhi was busy arm wrestling with a bunch of drunkards, spared a glance at the suspicious-looking old man.
“One gold coin for a chance to enter, winner takes all. If you’re good at this, then go sign up over there.”
“Idiot.”
The old man cut to the point.
“I would have expected you to be at least halfway to the demon lord’s castle, and you still haven’t left town yet? Brave Haruhi, destruction is looming right before us, and please do realize that your priority is to defeat the demon.”
“Who’s this old codger? He sounds pretty full of himself.”
“I am,” the old man said with a directness rarely seen in his age, “the Forest Sage. My role is to provide you with information and point out the right way for you.”
The pub fell silent. The old man’s hoarse voice sounded even louder.
“In usual situations, I should have waited for you to come seek me, but since you never came I had to look for you. Listen carefully, Brave Haruhi—“
“I understand.”
Understand what? Haruhi seemed to have accepted the old man’s opinion, and stood up smiling.
“I knew that something like this would happen soon. Our money seems to be running low as well, just the time for a change.”
When people talk about criminals who commit crimes even with full knowledge that it’s illegal, they’re talking about people like Haruhi. We spent our entire budget on entertainment. What kind of warriors were we?
“Good lord.”
The Forest Sage said what was on my mind.
[...]
“……You must use this ‘Orb of Fatigue’. But, I won’t just give it away for nothing. Due to my age, some of my joints have started to ache. It is said that on the Eastern Continent there is a kind of grass, known as ‘Gout-Out’, which is extremely effective. If you can get me some, the ‘Orb of Fatigue’ will be— “ The Forest Sage stopped, because Haruhi leapt out and had her sword at his throat.
“Cut the crap,”Haruhi was smiling like a robber. “I’ll give you the grass later. Now hand over the crystal ball. Understand? We aren’t kids. The heroine and her companions’ mission are to save the world. I’ll use any means to achieve that. We don’t have time for this.”
After Haruhi’s terrifying speech, the poor old man’s mouth had opened wide out of shock.
“It’ll be quick and painless. I respect the old a lot, and it pains me to do this.”
The Forest Sage started to swear. I guess that the world did not want to be saved by a heroine who robbed people.
“OK, Yuki. You can go steal it now.”
She was a thief indeed, but she was only required to take a crystal ball from an old sage with a sword at his throat. I doubt that any special skills were needed.
“……”
Nagato was in no hurry. She approached the sage slowly, took the ‘Orb of Fatigue’ or something like that from him, and returned to her original spot without a word.
“If I had to choose between the destruction of the world and the rheumatism of an old bum, I think the priority would be pretty obvious.”
Haruhi put her sword away with a satisfied smile.
“Because if the world’s gone, you wouldn’t have to worry about joint pains any more. Your survival would be a bigger problem at that point. Don’t worry, I won’t forget about the medicine.”
[...]
“Actually, the key to the gate is not enough to get you to the Demon Lord. In the depths of his fort, there’s the ‘Door of Illusions’ at the end of the maze……”
“Where’s the key?” Asked Haruhi. The Sage looked even more unwilling to speak.
“If you travel to the north, you will find the ruins of a city, and there’s an underground fort there. The Demon’s trusty servant, an evil mage created an underground palace for the Dark Lord. He has the ‘Key of Illusions’……But, his territory is under the influence of the Dark Lord, so you can’t enter easily. Before going into the maze you need to bathe in the light of the ‘Orb of Consecration’.”
“And…….”Haruhi said with a glittering smile, urging the old man to say more.
“……I currently have the orb, but……what should I say, it must be because of my age. Recently my vision has become blurred. The medical herb that cures this grows on the far far away Western Continent……”
The old man let out a hopeless sigh.
“…Known as the 'Asthenopia-killer.' If you have some for me, I would gladly give you the orb. How’s that……?”
I waited for Haruhi to turn into a robber, but she slackened her grip on the hilt of the sword.
“Say, are you really on our side?”
She glared at the old man.
“You look suspicious. I don’t think any old guy your age would use the phase ‘Far far away.’ I smell something fishy. Could you be the true final boss?”
“Wh-what are you talking about?”
Haruhi curled her lip, staring at the nervous Forest Sage.
“Maybe the real sage was killed long ago. You kindly gave us all that information about orbs and keys, but you just want us to unleash the final boss after the demon lord. After we’re through with the demon and come back in the glory of victory, we’ll hear something like “Good job, heroines. Thanks to you, the seal on me has been undone. Allow me to show my appreciation for your help” coming out of nowhere, the creepy background music plays, and you suddenly appear. Is it a conspiracy like that?”
Ein Hoch auf Tanigawa Nagaru (oder meinetwegen auch Nagaru Tanigawa).
