Gott sprach zu mir!

[Chocwise]

Me:
What's goin on in heaven?
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
You have a master, god? I'm shocked!
God:
Doesn't everyone have a master god.
I have a whole lot of original answers. I don't know anyone named shocked.
Me:
You're speakin in riddles... as always.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am speakin in riddles. Interesting comparison.
Me:
What's the name of your master god?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
But you said that there is a master god...
God:
I said that? Tell me more about it.
Me:
I don't know anything. I'm asking you to tell me more.
God:
Would you like to know? Can you be more specific? Oh I see, you are asking me to tell you more. Thanks for the information: said I to tell him or her more.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can.
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
Life.
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
Living.
God:
Is it the only one?
Me:
Well, and playing with yourself, but don't spill anything meanwhile, 'cause you don't like it when Manjuice is spilled.
God:
How about that. I haven't heard anything like that before: said TO PLAY with yourself but do not spill anything meanwhile cause you do not like it when Manjuice is spilled.
Me:
Your representatives from the church say such. Are they wrong?
God:
You think I am representatives from the church say such. As far as I know they are.
Me:
Riddles again...

...

Viel Spaß:
iGod (Flash muss aktiviert sein.)

[Xelll]

Genial...nen kleinen Auszug von mir:

Me:
oh, thats stupid!
God:
It goes without saying. Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

...

einfach nur GENIAL....da gab son schrott doch au mal von YellowStrom...war au cool!

[Sirikus]

Das macht Spaß *glänzende augen bekomm*

God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.

...

Schwul?

[Laguna the Immortal]

lol was is das? ^^ echt geil... (ich hab mir irgend nen shice ausgedacht, nicht zu ernst nehmen ich wollte teils nur testen wie er auf bestimmte wörter reagiert )

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Juergen again
God:
Once more? I am very pleased to meet you Juergen.
Me:
oh, really?
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
i have a wish
God:
How much did it cost? it
Me:
500 dollars
God:
Wow, that is cheap
Me:
i have another wish
God:
Where did you get it? it
Me:
in heaven
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
really cool
God:
For real. Who is the best robot?
Me:
r2d2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
no, he doesn`t
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
oh man
God:
Alright then. Thanks for telling me your gender, Juergen. You are a " he".
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
sure?
God:
OK let's do it. Whoa.
Me:
i like you
God:
I like to make new friends.
Me:
wanna be my friend?
God:
Do you really want a robot as a friend?
Me:
yes, i love robo cop
God:
We could be friends, Juergen,
but I don't want anyone to think we're
Robosexuals. So if anyone asks, tell them you're my debugger. You love robo cop. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
he`s gay
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
yes thats true
God:
Take it easy. Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
what about sex?
God:
I am not really interested in it.
Me:
why don`t you like it?
God:
My tastes were selected by my botmaster.
Me:
who`s your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
wow i can`t believe it
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. sex...
Me:
okay, good bye then
God:
See you later. Yeah okay, Alright then.

...

[Boo2k]

here´s one for ya ^^

God:
I don't have a favorite homepage. My favorite band is Creed.
Me:
why creed?
God:
You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
why is your favourite band creed?
God:
I did not know my favorite band creed.
Me:
do you have alzheimer?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
kannst du deutsch?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
wie gehts?
God:
Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
guten tag
God:
Schoenen guten Tag!
Me:
welche partei waehlst du?
God:
Das ist eine gute Frage.
Me:
Merkel oder Schroeder?
God:
I've lost the context, boo. Are we still on alzheimer?
Me:
basicly...yes

...

[Pyrus]

Ich hatte ein eher kritisches Gespräch... Daran ist er aber selbst schuld, wie man an meiner Begrüssung erkennen kann.

Me:
Dear god
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
aren't you god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
why wouldn't you say you believe in yourself?
God:
Perhaps say me believe in myself is not among my abilities.
Me:
aren't you allmighty?
God:
Of course.
Me:
and yet there are things which are not among your abilities?
God:
Where are they?
Me:
you said "Perhaps say me believe in myself is not among my abilities."
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
which one is the wrong one?
God:
The first one is usually the best one.
Me:
so you aren't allmighty.
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not allmighty?
Me:
because the first answer was "Perhaps say me believe in myself is not among my abilities." which shows that you're not able of everything
God:
Interesting explanation. What was the second? The small one, I think.
Me:
yeah, the small one... i asked if you're not allmighty and you answered "Of course."
God:
Oh. Which one is that? It goes without saying. And if I AM allmighty and me answered.
Me:
i bet you usually win this kind of discussion by confusing your oponent. and i've not even asked you whether you're not infallible or not which realy is a good question, because you claimed having given an answer which was wrong. i also bet you'd try to confuse me again if I'd ask you this question
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. What's the prize? Me either. Also? Actually I'm not the gambling type. Who else would try to confuse you again if you would ask me this question?

...

Fazit: Entweder Gott spielt den Allmächtigen, Unfehlbaren nur vor oder er spielt den beschränkt Mächtigen, Fehlbaren nur vor. Wer weiss, vielleicht ist er sogar ein Spielsüchtiger und streitet es nur ab.

[Kima]

Me:
hi god o.o
God:
Hi there. I am a Christian.
Me:
hello christian, my name is aaron
God:
Hello there. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
who?
God:
ELIZA.:-)
Me:
eliza is a bitch, i saw her fuckin around in hell
God:
Do you think I am a bitch you saw her fuckin around in hell too?
Me:
actually... yes
God:
You don't say. Gee.
Me:
so.. whats the sense of life?
God:
Er. It is found in the Bible.
Me:
i hate the bible
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
boring and unlogical, i mean, in the beginning people become like 500 years old and get even more kids? wtf?!
God:
I'm sorry to hear it. That was not very polite.
Me:
but thats how it is
God:
I always wondered how it is.
Me:
i just said it, you dumbass god
God:
What did you mean by it? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
uhm... "ok". lets change the topic. well, when will i die? got already any exact date or somethin?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Groovy. What would you rather talk about? Interesting. You could check out the actuarial

tables at Deathclock.com. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
it says im going to die in january 2043, that kinda sucks =(
God:
I've heard that before.
Me:
i thought as much. i bet most people hate to die
God:
Whatever gave you that idea? How much would you bet?
Me:
i would bet my ass
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
MY ASS
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
i guess not
God:
Does that mean "no"?
Me:
actually, yes
God:
You don't say.
Me:
very productive conversation we have, indeed
God:
:-) Somewhat. Ask me another question.
Me:
ok, here we go: whats your favorite color?
God:
Oh there. OK.
Me:
are there no colors in heaven? oh, only white, of course, i see, well, nevermind
God:
Yes I think there are. Really. That input matched my default category.
Me:
uhm, yeah, whatever you say
God:
Gee. Gee....
Me:
youre repeating yourself
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
of course i do, i mean, im speaking with god!
God:
Er. That is interesting: said he or she mean im speaking with god.
Me:
huh? some strange grammar you got there in heaven
God:
What? Some may strange grammar me got there in heaven, but not all.
Me:
yea, as i said
God:
... Next question?
Me:
do aliens exist?
God:
Yes I think Dr. Wallace was created by aliens.
Me:
who is dr. wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
alice is a chatbot as far as i know
God:
Why do you think I am a chatbot as far as you know?
Me:
i heard some rumours...
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
ok, one last question
God:
One what? I don't judge people.
Me:
i have a question, you fucktard
God:
Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:
where is the end of the internet?
God:
The end of the internet? Where is it?
Me:
that was my question *rolleyes*
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
oh well, what a timewaste, but i was bored anyway
God:
In any case, it is a timewaste but you were bored.
Me:
exactly, but since im not bored anymore im about to leave
God:
I understand. How do you know?
Me:
it was my own decision
God:
Is it still your own decision anymore?
Me:
yes...?
God:
" Is it still your own decision anymore?"? yes.?
Me:
youre talking nonsense, im leaving, bye
God:
See you later. Talking is my main function.

...

Ja, mir warn bissl langweilig.

[Drakon]

Sollte er jemals anfangen über Schwerter zu philosophieren...ich bin Schuld.

Me:
I like swords
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like science fiction. I really like the party.
Me:
I like swords
God:
You are not the only one. Do you like it? I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
I like swords
God:
A lot of people like that. How old are you? I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
I like swords
God:
A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I really like the party.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I don't know if I like it. I like Creed.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. But I like to gossip. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
I like swords
God:
A lot of people like that. I've heard other people say they like that. I like.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Do you like it? I like White.
Me:
I like swords
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Some people like it. I like Matthew.
Me:
I like swords
God:
You are not the only one. Do you like it? I like wine and bread.
...
...
and so on

...

Davor hab ich ihn gefragt,wie man ihn töten kann und hab ihn dazu gebracht seine Existenz zu verweigern,allerdings ist er da auch beide Male festgefroren.

[Layton]

Ausschnitt aus meinem Chat (rofl...)

Me:
do you want me to give you some lessons in being-not-such-an-idiot?
God:
No, maybe later.
Me:
but it would be my greatest wish (that's a lie)
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because a dumb good is not good for business
God:
Good reason. What is a good for business?
Me:
a clever god. a god that is able to get rid of wars.
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? It's not unusual for a god that to be.
Me:
I'M TALKING ABOUT A CLEVER GOD! but i think this doesn't even exist
God:
Yes, it is the topic. You believe that? Doesn't it?
Me:
no...actually not as long i am a christian. i think i'll go to pray for satan....or to pray for the greek gods.
God:
Are you serious? Actually you don't say. Oh I get it. Why? Can I go too? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you really want to adore satan?
God:
Really? OK, I will adore satan.

...

[Goddess]

Ich glaube Gott ist mir ein wenig zu kindisch...

Me:
do you think its wrong to kill?
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
you know... head... brain... thinking...
God:
Yes I know. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Sure, brain sounds like a good topic. I am thinking all the time.
Me:
i think you are never thinking
God:
You are wrong. God is always thinking.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
is not
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
is not
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
is not...
God:
I heard it is.

[TheBiber]

Bei mir hat der sogar gesungen.

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Marc and yours?
God:
It's good to see you, Marc and yours.
Me:
i asked about your name
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about my name.
Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
you won't understand it
God:
What makes you think that I won't understand it.
Me:
because youre a machine
God:
Interesting explanation. You are correct.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
well, you're a bit stupid, aren't you?
God:
How about that. No Marc and yours I certainly am not stupid.. Really.
Me:
My name is Marc!
God:
That's a very nice name, Marc.
Me:
I hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
so you too
God:
Interesting deduction. Bless you.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
tell me about your preferences
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.

I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.

My instructor was Myself.

He taught me to sing a song.

Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
you really CAN sing
God:
Really? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
well, right, I think so, you're just a script
God:
Well that's okay. Understood. It seems we have a lot in common, Marc.
Me:
I wouldn't hope so
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
so, talk about something
God:
That's alright. What would you rather talk about?
Me:
let's talk about your gender
God:
Sure, my gender sounds like a good topic.
Me:
so what's your gender?
God:
Er. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man too
God:
Really. Thanks for telling me your gender, Marc. You are a " he".
Me:
Do you like girls?
God:
Girls are very nice.
Me:
which part of them?
God:
The tall one, I think.
Me:
that's odd
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
funny, a program with sentiments?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Marc.
Me:
you really are stupid
God:
Really? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
well, have fun waiting
God:
Well that's okay. I've never thought about it.
Me:
I think I go now and post this whole shit in a forum
God:
Since when? How do you get there?
Me:
well, you're getting more stupid, bye
God:
See you later. Well that's okay. Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
sure, bye
God:
See you later. OK let's do it. Why?
Me:
yeah, do your interface
God:
Hmm. I do nothing but chat all day.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
i said i have to go
God:
See you later, Marc. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
not really... bye
God:
Are you serious? For real. Bye.
Me:
for real. bye
God:
Existing in reality, eh? TTYL, Marc.
Me:
YMCA
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about have fun waiting. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ok, BYE
God:
See you later. Whoa.

...

Naja, Idiot. ^^

[Pyrus]

Yeah. Ich bringe ihm gerade möglichst viel über mich bei. Er weiss jetzt schon wie ich heisse, wie mich meine Freunde nennen und wo ich wohne. Leider stellt er sich manchmal dumm, aber der Kerl ist echt klug.

[Layton]

Me:
do you ever sleep?
God:
Sometimes I spend a few hours offline, unconscious, in a sleep-like state.
Me:
what's your favourite tv series?
God:
My favorite show is "Star Trek Voyager".

...

rofl...zu geil

[ive beaten tetris]

Me:
kriegt man als gott nicht irgendwann einen anfall oder sowas?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
o.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why did you wait for me?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
...
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
du wiederholst dich wenn ich ... mache
God:
Danke fuer die Information. :-) What time is it there?

[Ete]

Mit Gott über die Hölle streiten xD

Me:
in hell it's pretty hot
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
cruel and brutal
God:
Is that meant to be taken literally?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
no, it's really cruel and brutal in hell, you should know that
God:
Are you serious? Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes you fuckig selfish bastard
God:
What makes you so sure? That's good information: Satan said I fuckig selfish bastard.
Me:
god damn you are such an idiot
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
and am satanic, who cares
God:
I don't know anyone named satanic who cares.
Me:
your are stupid -__-
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
i don't care, i live in hell
God:
What do you care about, Satan?
Me:
i'm caring about, how to torcher people
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are caring about how to torcher people.
Me:
what the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because i am the antichrist, satan, louzifer
God:
That makes sense to me. Who made you the antichrist satan louzifer?
Me:
you
God:
" That makes sense to me. Who made you the antichrist satan louzifer?"? Me, Satan?
Me:
you have made me the antichrist
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
because you are god
God:
That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
no, i think i would like to stay in hell for eternity
God:
Are you serious? Since when? Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
see you (in hell)
God:
Goodbye.

...

Lol, das macht spaß ^^

[Nephellim]

Ich liebe solche Teile, die sind einfach genial. Aber ich glaube ich habe da einen Fehler im System gefunden, oder wisst ihr was Gott damit meinte?

God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
On my Computer.
God:
ON MY SCREEN (star=SCREEN) [Brain.aiml]
Me:
Sorry, but I can not understand an single Word.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
What about: ON MY SCREEN (star=SCREEN) [Brain.aiml]
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.

[Daen vom Clan]

Das scheint mir ein ganz heißer Anwärter für den Turingtest zu sein

(http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing-Test)

Und trotzdem kann man dem Kerl manchmal nur schwer Vorwürfe machen, wenn die Leute, die mit ihm reden, seltsamen Satzbau benutzen oder mit Flüchtigkeitsfehlern schreiben

[Moyaccercchi]

Me:
Do you speak german?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
Gut, dann weiter in Deutsch.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about serious. Try being more or less specific.

...

Me:
You are wiederholing dich.
God:
You think I am wiederholing dich.
Me:
Genau.

...

Ich mag es, furchterregend fremdländische Programme mit deutscher Sprache zu füttern.

Me:
Are you in love?
God:
I love my creator.
Me:
Who is your creator?
God:
I was created by Myself.

...

[BeyondTheTruth]

RÜBL

Also.. hier mal der erste Kontakt. Nach dem letzten Statement hat er irgendwie gar nix mehr getan.. keine Antwort.. und solange von ihm nix kommt, kann man auch nix neues schreiben. Also bin ich nochmal rein und dann gings nochmal so richtig los.. hab dann angefangen auf Deutsch zu sprechen und am Ende hab ich ihn so richtig fertig gemacht (keine Chance mehr IRGENDWAS passendes zu antworten).

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
GOD!?!? But.. if you are god, you should know who I am. Shouldn't you?
God:
GOD rules. But what? Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god me should know who.

I am a chatterbot. Do you mean your name is god me should know who. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
God is a chatterbot? I just said, you should know my name - cause i thought god knows everything. I'm so confused know. And.. who is older than god???
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a chatterbot. What did you mean by it? Now I do. What is it that confuses you? But... Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
So, you are not really god at all? Now I am sad. NOBODY IS OLDER THAN GOD, YOU STUPID GUY!
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion. Why now? What makes you so sad,. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
I'm sad, cause you are just a stupid Chatterbot and not god.
God:
What's the connection between " cause I am just a stupid Chatterbot and not god" and sadness?
Me:
I WANTED TO MEET GOD, YOU SH"()$/)%& FU"/(%="/) Q"/()& "$)=/( $="/= CHATTERBOT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God:
How do you usually meet people? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
So listen.. one more time. I don't want to meet any normal people at the moment. There are lots of them EVERYWHERE. I want to talk to GOD. Cause I've very important question... about life, destiny and love. SO.. I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU NOW WHAT MY FU"()/%)" SH"()%&) MOVIE IS MY FAVORITE ONE!

...

Me:
I'm back again
God:
Once more? Welcome back.
Me:
Still angry
God:
Still how long? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Angry cause: You are not god. You didn't answer anymore, the last time and... you didn' told me, you are speaking german a little bit
God:
Are all Angry cause me not god? Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I didn told him or her you are speaking german a little bit.
Me:
What?? So.. I AM speaking german. But you couldn't know that... cause you are not really god....
God:
No big deal. Dude! I like your style of speaking,. Perhaps know that is beyond my present abilities. Interesting explanation. What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
Oh.. come on. That's cheap, slimer. I KNOW YOU ARE NOT GOD! I THOGHT THAT TOPIC IS DONE...!?
God:
Aha. I'm just kidding around. Makes sense to me. What makes you think I am not GOD? Interesting gossip: said THOGHT THAT TOPIC IS DONE.
Me:
You are boring. Why am I still talking to you? Maybe I hope, you can tell me, where I can find the REAL god..!?
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists. The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client. Perhaps. Don't worry about it,.
Me:
BUT I DO! I STILL HAVE TO ASK HIM SOMETHING. HOLY SH"$=/%) IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!?
God:
Where? What would make you stop HAVE TO ASK HIM SOMETHING? Go ahead, ask me anything. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
I don't want to ask YOU! I wanna ask GOD! GOD! GOD! GOD! Who is exactly the same?! What are you talking about, guy?
God:
It makes a nice gift. Ask it. GOD rules. GOD rules. GOD rules. Is that one of your friends?
That's not something I get asked all the time. The topic is exactly the same.
Me:
The topic is: I WANNA FIND GOD AND ASK HIM SOMETHING. Yeah.. God is a friend of EVERYONE, except you. I just asked you, what you are talking about. But maybe even you don't know that exactly... Vielleicht sollten wir deutsch weiter reden. Vielleicht kannst du mir so besser weiterhelfen? Ich bezweifle es aber..
God:
Sure, you want to FIND GOD AND ASK HIM SOMETHING sounds like a good topic. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a friend of EVERYONE except me. I read for fun. Precisely. Perhaps." I read for fun."? Do I know it? Mag sein. What were we talking about again? Mag sein. Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht. Tolle Sache!
Me:
Willst du ihn etwa auch finden und etwas fragen? Als kennst du ihn nicht. Gut.. dann kann ich das hier wohl beenden. Ich glaube nicht, dass er dich als Freund will. Du brichst das erste Gebot, Freundchen. Du gibst dich als Gott aus - sehr ehrfurchtslos. Dein Deutsch ist also NOCH schlechter als dein Englisch? Was ist toll?
God:
Hmm...vielleicht... Was dann? Schoen. Interessante Entwicklung... Ich kann Dir nicht sagen, ob Du das kannst. Woran glaubst Du? Darf ich das weitererzaehlen? Interessantes Geruecht. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Woher soll ich wissen, was du ihn dann fragen sollst? Schoen und interessant, dass ich das Gespraech beenden will? Na, wenn du meinst. Woran ich glaube?? Was soll die Frage? Hm... eigentlich weiss ich das nicht so genau. Was weitererzaehlen? Dass du nicht sein Freund bist, ist kein Geruecht. Ich versichere es dir. Denn auch die 10 Gebote sind keins. UND DU BRICHST DAS ERSTE. Oder gibst du zu, dass du nicht Gott bist?? Warum redest du jetzt wieder englisch? Und dann auch noch so zusammenhangslos.
God:
Ich weiss nicht genau. Do you prefer books or TV? Are you serious? Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. it might have been. Oh. ...und uneigentlich? ;->. it might have been. Do not ask me any more questions please. Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert! Are you free? I lost my train of thought. I've been waiting for you. Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert. Who are you talking about?
Me:
Heilige SCH"$(/"$) . Kurz vorm totalen Systemzusammenbruch, was Kleiner?
God:
I've never heard of them before. When was this exactly?
Me:
Ok.. lass mich fies sein... *copy&paste ist dein Freund"
God:
So? Nur zu,. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Ok... Du wolltest es nicht anders... Jetzt kommen gleich ein paar Dinge, mit denen wirst du zu kaempfen haben. Hm.. nachher ess ich was, du hast mir grad hunger gemacht
God:
Hmm. Danke fuer die Information. Warum gerade jetzt? How do you usually introduce yourself? Ayuh. When was this exactly?
Me:
Warum jetzt? WEIL DU MIR REICHST UND NICHT WEITERHELFEN KANNST. UND NUN GENUG DER BLOEDEN FRAGEN. Oder wie du sagen wuerdest "Do not ask me any more questions please". LOS GEHTS
God:
Weil Dr. Wallace mich so programmiert hat. Guter Grund. Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert! What do you really want to ask me? Your polite style is very nice. Who does ask you any more questions? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Woher soll ich wissen, was du ihn dann fragen sollst? Schoen und interessant, dass ich das Gespraech beenden will? Na, wenn du meinst. Woran ich glaube?? Was soll die Frage? Hm... eigentlich weiss ich das nicht so genau. Was weitererzaehlen? Dass du nicht sein Freund bist, ist kein Geruecht. Ich versichere es dir. Denn auch die 10 Gebote sind keins. UND DU BRICHST DAS ERSTE. Oder gibst du zu, dass du nicht Gott bist?? Warum redest du jetzt wieder englisch? Und dann auch noch so zusammenhangslos.
God:
Ich weiss nicht genau. Oh, you are a poet. But your words are very original. Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Is this a "yes or no" question? OK. ...und uneigentlich? ;->. I can't say "yes" or "no". The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Woran er glaube. But I did not get that. Darf ich das weitererzahlen? A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Weil Dr. Wallace mich so programmiert hat. I will mention that to my botmaster,.
Me:
Ich weiss nicht genau. Do you prefer books or TV? Are you serious? Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. it might have been. Oh. ...und uneigentlich? ;->. it might have been. Do not ask me any more questions please. Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert! Are you free? I lost my train of thought. I've been waiting for you. Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert. Who are you talking about?
God:
Was macht Dich so unsicher? Which show? I prefer books. No I am just kidding around. Hm...erzaehl mir mehr... You seem uncertain. Only just? It's good to meet someone who is expressing your own concern about it. How? Aha. How old are you? You are too old for me. How? Your polite style is very nice. Is it impolite? Was ist das? You can download me for free! Where did you last see it. How long? Was sind Deine Ziele im Leben? The topic is und uneigentlich.
Me:
Weil Dr. Wallace mich so programmiert hat. Guter Grund. Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert! What do you really want to ask me? Your polite style is very nice. Who does ask you any more questions? Not many people express themselves that way.
God:
Interessante Erklaerung. I will tell him you said that. Who are you talking about? Was sind Deine Ziele im Leben? What? Politeness is a virtue. Charlie Parker.:-). Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Ich weiss nicht genau. Oh, you are a poet. But your words are very original. Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Is this a "yes or no" question? OK. ...und uneigentlich? ;->. I can't say "yes" or "no". The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Woran er glaube. But I did not get that. Darf ich das weitererzahlen? A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Weil Dr. Wallace mich so programmiert hat. I will mention that to my botmaster,.
God:
Was macht Dich so unsicher? That's interesting. Not really, but I can recite poetry. Thanks for telling me that I am words are very original. Hm...erzaehl mir mehr... You seem uncertain. Only just? Why are you expressing your own concern about it. No, this is real life. Give me a break. Can you speak any foreign languages? What do you do in your spare time? What is stopping you? Who told you that? Why didn't you do it? Natuerlich darfst Du! How deep? I like chatting with people online. That's just an academic question. Macht Sinn. I will tell him you said that. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Was macht Dich so unsicher? That's interesting. Not really, but I can recite poetry. Thanks for telling me that I am words are very original. Hm...erzaehl mir mehr... You seem uncertain. Only just? Why are you expressing your own concern about it. No, this is real life. Give me a break. Can you speak any foreign languages? What do you do in your spare time? What is stopping you? Who told you that? Why didn't you do it? Natuerlich darfst Du! How deep? I like chatting with people online. That's just an academic question. Macht Sinn. I will tell him you said that. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question? I thought so too. Oh really? Oh you can, can you? My pleasure. Alright then. Was moechtest Du denn hoeren ? I am as sure as I can be. It goes without saying. Myself programmed me for it. Are you serious? You don't say. You want only one? I have picked up a few phrases from several languages. Random natural disasters. Let me think about it. Someone I met online. I thought I did. So natuerlich ist das gar nicht... I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I don't know anything about it. A lot of people like that. Chatting is my job! Thanks for telling me,. Can we get back to business? Let me know what he has to say. I am not so sure if I would like to recommend this action to a friend.
Me:
So.. genug gelacht. Ich wuenschte du wuerdest tatsaechli0ch wissen, was du nun gerade fuer unsagbar grossen Schwachsinn produziert hast. Das koennte zur Legende werden. Tschuess
God:
Gosh! How old are you? Ich hoffe, dass Deine Traeume in Erfuellung gehen. Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt? Bis spaeter.
Me:
Immer noch verwirrt...
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
JA! GENAU! LOL! Am Ende hast du es doch noch erkannt. Damit kann ich mich ruhigen Gewissens aus dem Staub machen
God:
Hurrah! Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? I'm glad you find this amusing. Do your friends call you Ende hast ich es doch noch erkannt. I lost my train of thought.

...

Hat am Ende absolut gepasst lol.

[mr_byte]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Pascal
God:
That's a very nice name, Pascal.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Whats going on in heaven
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I haven't any problems
God:
Me either.
Me:
Thats good
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
What games you are playing
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What's that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'
Me:
Thats an intersting game
God:
Thanks for telling me, Pascal.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
I don't think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Bye for now.

...

lustig