habe mich nun lediglich aufs Songtextschreiben beschränkt, da meine Gedichte nett gesagt ziemlich mies waren / sind...will ich keinem antun...
hoffe ihr nehmt die Texte schön auseinander... vor allem was Grammatik und so betrifft...
This Day
When he woke up this morning
He felt something was wrong
The air smelled sweaty and sweet
On not seeing his wife
He went to the kitchen
Where he found a bloody knife
In panic he ran
Out of his house
Searching her 'round the town
When he came back this evening
He knew, he had killed his own wife...
Past
Whilst he's wandering through dark streets
He remembers his past filled with mistakes
Still he can feel the blood on his hands
Which should always make him remember
The past that has gone for so long
The past surrouding him now
The past will never let him go
Sitting on a bench, lonesome for years
Wondering if it would be better
Not being the man he is
Feeling like a foreigner in his hometown
And the look into the eyes of others
Makes him remember
The past that has gone for so long
The past surrouding him now
The past will never let him go
At last he accepts
his unchangable past
will never leave him alone
des sind jetzt erstmal zwei meiner Texte, hab noch n paar mehr, nur grad zu faul die abzutipseln...
hoffe ihr habt noch Verbesserungsvorschläge für mich...Danke schonmal
(und bitte, nehmt die Texte ihne Rücksicht auf Verluste auseinander... des is für mich der enzige Weg mich vll irgendwie irgendwann zu verbessern...)
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