Forgotten feelings

I can’t feel anything anymore
There’s only a void within my core
nothing more.
I exist but don’t live
I stand before a cliff.
It reflects my inner soul
And maybe one day the whole.
But I’m not able to be afraid of what I see
The only thing I’m able to recognize in the place where my feelings should be
Is a casualness, which wipes away every other emotion,
And therefore it exists no potion,
To heal this heavy wound,
Which was struck by a person who I trusted.
But this friendship is now busted.
I always thought I have a third reason
Which makes my life worth living in this season
But the one I thought I’ve found
Was only an illusion which isn’t bound.
It disappeared before my eyes
Telling me only lies.
But the only way to live on without one means to suffer,
And there’s no buffer
To ease this pain.
It’s like I stand alone in the rain.
And now I’m trapped in this void,
Which fills out my soul and I can’t avoid.
Why have I always to wear the mask of happiness
And never can show real sadness?
This were my questions till I discovered how true
Are the following two:
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Cry and you cry alone
I hope sometime will grown
New feelings inside my heart
Which are now so far apart.
But today I see no sense
in this life without tense.
I hope, no I pray
I’ll break through someday.