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Thema: Forgotten feelings (Gedicht)

Hybrid-Darstellung

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  1. #1

    Forgotten feelings (Gedicht)

    Forgotten feelings

    I can’t feel anything anymore
    There’s only a void within my core
    nothing more.
    I exist but don’t live
    I stand before a cliff.
    It reflects my inner soul
    And maybe one day the whole.
    But I’m not able to be afraid of what I see
    The only thing I’m able to recognize in the place where my feelings should be
    Is a casualness, which wipes away every other emotion,
    And therefore it exists no potion,
    To heal this heavy wound,
    Which was struck by a person who I trusted.
    But this friendship is now busted.
    I always thought I have a third reason
    Which makes my life worth living in this season
    But the one I thought I’ve found
    Was only an illusion which isn’t bound.
    It disappeared before my eyes
    Telling me only lies.
    But the only way to live on without one means to suffer,
    And there’s no buffer
    To ease this pain.
    It’s like I stand alone in the rain.
    And now I’m trapped in this void,
    Which fills out my soul and I can’t avoid.
    Why have I always to wear the mask of happiness
    And never can show real sadness?
    This were my questions till I discovered how true
    Are the following two:
    Laugh and the world laughs with you
    Cry and you cry alone
    I hope sometime will grown
    New feelings inside my heart
    Which are now so far apart.
    But today I see no sense
    in this life without tense.
    I hope, no I pray
    I’ll break through someday.

  2. #2
    Wie ich dir schon übers icq sagte:
    Einfach

    Freut mich, das junge Dichterglück ^^ *mit dem lehnstuhl wipp"
    mfg Ins@ne

  3. #3
    When I look into your eyes

    When I look into your eye,
    I saw us fly.
    'Cause you've given me wings
    and many other things
    I never knew they exist
    and I thought I'm a realist.
    But you showed me how wrong I was
    and gave me a real cause
    to take the challenge of life
    and survive.
    This reason are you!

    Without you

    I always thought I can't live on without you,
    but now I know this is true.
    I was right
    and now I have to fight.
    Only to see you one more time,
    is this a crime?
    I can't aceept this is fate,
    because I would only be a shade
    of myself when I'm without you.
    I hope you know that too.

    Piece of Heaven

    To see you spread your wings
    and hear how your beautiful voice sings
    I would go through hell
    and maybe also sell
    my soul if it wouldn't be already yours
    because you are the source
    of my bliss
    and when I kiss
    your smooth lips
    and see your hips (nur wegen dem Reim drin ^^)
    I know I was in heaven
    and on cloud number seven.
    The other angels fade next to you
    as all others do.

    Isolated cogitations

    What should I do?
    Because without you
    My life has no sense.
    Since the’ve put up a fence
    To isolate us
    It’s like I was run over by a bus.
    I’m not able to live
    Before me I see a cliff
    And I ask myself
    Why shouldn’t I jump
    Off the continental shelf
    To drown in the sump
    Which lies under
    Or maybe I’ll get struck by a peal of thunder
    Nothing cares me anymore
    It’s sore
    I just want to see you again
    This is the only thought I had since it began
    It dominates my mind
    Kills all other cogitations
    You were so kind
    When I met you at the stations
    I have to go
    I’ll pay the fee
    I’ll show
    How precious you are to me

  4. #4
    Oh mein Gott Alex ich liebe diese Zeile:
    Zitat Zitat
    I would go through hell
    and maybe also sell
    my soul if it wouldn't be already yours
    because you are the source
    of my bliss
    and when I kiss
    your smooth lips
    and see your hips (nur wegen dem Reim drin ^^)
    Bei mir ist sie so wahr, und das mit den "hips" nicht nur des Reimes Willen ^^
    *zensored^^*


    Ansonsten gefällt mir noch "without you", welches wirklich sehr gelungen ist!
    Mach nur weiter!

  5. #5
    Zitat Zitat
    Original geschrieben von -[IoI]-Ins@ne
    Oh mein Gott Alex ich liebe diese Zeile:

    Bei mir ist sie so wahr, und das mit den "hips" nicht nur des Reimes Willen ^^
    *zensored^^*


    Ansonsten gefällt mir noch "without you", welches wirklich sehr gelungen ist!
    Mach nur weiter!
    Wenigstens einer dem es gefällt. Vielen Dank dafür . Da denkt man sich, dass man sie doch nicht so ganz umsonst geschrieben hat. ^^

    Hab dann gerade ein Weiteres fertig gestellt. Kommt mir zwar nicht so besonders gelungen vor diesmal poste es aber trotzdem.

    Paralyzing feelings

    I never knew
    How I should do
    When I see you.
    Suddenly I was not able to think clearly any more
    And this wasn’t even sore
    Your beauty has numb my mind
    Which lies now behind.
    Your gesture has paralyzed me
    This is the fee
    Also this is fine
    But your soul has stolen mine,
    With one wink of your eye
    Which are the mirrors of the soul
    It decided to fly
    To you to make us whole,
    When the two souls fusion together
    Nothing other will matter.
    We’ll live in this world
    That we’ve created
    And which is fated
    To exist only because of our will
    And I still can’t think of anything other than you
    Who dominates my mind
    But have you to?
    I don’t know if I’ll ever find
    A way to escape from this magic
    But this isn’t tragic
    because if I should be honest
    I don’t care
    And I don’t want to share
    You to anyone other who is the best.
    I’ll never rest
    To do all I have to please you
    And the only thing left I can is to pray
    That you are too
    Want to stay
    At my side
    Even when it becomes night.

    Geändert von Cool (26.06.2005 um 09:48 Uhr)

  6. #6
    Sehe gerade das ich folgendes auch noch nicht gepostet habe. Hol ich hiermit nach:

    Imprisoned self

    I’m standing here in front of your door,
    And wait for you to open up after I’ve rung the bell.
    I’m thinking about how it was before
    How you’ve rescued me from the cell
    In which I’ve imprisoned myself
    In faith that it’s the only possibility to avoid to suffer
    I was such a duffer.
    You’ve appeared like an elf
    I didn’t even really realize
    That you were nice.
    I wanted to avoid any feelings, any friendship
    I didn’t even want to hear a tip
    They all wanted to help me
    Also she
    But I didn’t want to hear
    I had the fear
    That it could happen another time
    But when she was mine
    There was only one thing left I cared about
    To prevent her to shout
    And suddenly there was only one fear,
    That I could see a single tear
    Flowing from her eye.
    I want her to laugh, to fly
    to be happy on my side
    so that I didn’t had to hide
    my feelings anymore
    which was sore.
    I’ve just began to understand
    How happy I am when I hold your hand
    And when I’m around you
    I hope you feel that too.
    Maybe I just have to ask
    Or it is my task
    To find that out on my own
    The wind of change has blown
    When I met you the first time.
    But now it’s fine.

  7. #7
    Dancing snow

    I looked forward all the day and the last week
    Only for this day
    But now I hear you say
    That you can’t come
    Because only of some
    Snow that’s falling in the moment
    I have no comment
    I can’t believe what I’ve just heared
    It’s what I’ve feared
    Deep inside my heart
    And now you’re so far apart.
    Is this fate?
    Is there a shade?
    Which decided to darken my life
    And even uses a knife
    To cut wounds
    In my heart
    Which now start
    To bleed
    And I can’t feed
    It with feelings anymore
    Because there are to few
    Because of you
    It‘s sore

    Geändert von Cool (18.01.2004 um 15:42 Uhr)

  8. #8
    Cool, die sind wirklich cool!
    Klingen wirklich schön, einfach spitze! Besonders Paralyzing feelings, diese Stelle ist wirklich geil!!!


    Zitat Zitat
    And suddenly there was only one fear,
    That I could see a single tear
    Flowing from her eye.
    I want her to laugh, to fly
    to be happy on my side
    so that I didn’t had to hide
    my feelings anymore
    which was sore.
    I’ve just began to understand
    How happy I am when I hold your hand
    And when I’m around you
    I hope you feel that too.
    Maybe I just have to ask
    Or it is my task
    To find that out on my own
    The wind of change has blown
    When I met you the first time.
    But now it’s fine.
    Respekt!!!

    Und umsonst schreibt man das nie! Und es hat sonst noch keiner geschrieben, weil niemand dich im Fluss unterbrechen wollte!
    Aber eigentlich hätte dir -[IoI]-Ins@ne Meinung schon genug sein müssen:
    1. Der Mann spürt, was gefühlsmässig in den Gedichten vorgeht!
    2. Der Mann schreibt selber Hammergedicht (ich sag nur: Stupid little Hero!)

    Geändert von Pursy (18.01.2004 um 00:01 Uhr)

  9. #9
    @Pursy Vielen Dank für das Lob. Naja ich wollte deswegen gerne noch die Meinung von wem anders hören, da ich Ins@ne ja aus dem RL kenne und aber gerne ein Statement von jemand anders gehört hätte.
    Mich freut es das dir meine Gedichte gefallen. Und das man sie nie umsonst schreibt da bin ich gestern auch draufgekommen, dass sie mehr wert sind als man glaubt, viel mehr.
    Seit Dancing Snow versteh ich jetzt auch Gamabuntas Zitat in seiner Signatur viel besser. Nur das ich statt Bücher Gedichte verwenden müsste:
    Wir brauchen Bücher, die auf uns wirken wie ein Unglück, das uns sehr schmerzt,
    wie der Tod eines, den wir lieber hatten als uns, wie wenn wir in die Wälder verstoßen würden,
    von allen Menschen weg, ein Buch muss die Axt sein für das gefrorene Meer in uns.
    (Franz Kafka)


    Eclipse

    Slowly it gets darker and dimmer
    Until there is no shimmer
    Of the beautiful sunlight left
    It fell victim to a theft.
    I tried to keep the last light
    Which lost the fight
    Deep inside my heart
    Before they start
    To vanish completely
    I tried repeatly
    But it was useless
    I couldn’t deny the darkness
    Now that there isn’t much time anymore
    I can feel deep within my core
    How precious it was
    because
    Now that the eclipse isn’t far apart
    They start to cart
    Away my feelings with the sunlight
    Which was always so bright.
    I can feel it already
    It’s heady
    It can’t wait to devour the last sunray
    But I have to stay
    I can’t escape
    The future is to shape
    Now that the eclipse is complete
    I know my mistake
    They were a fake
    But now I have a new seed.

    Geändert von Cool (26.06.2005 um 09:49 Uhr)

  10. #10
    Hatte mal wieder etwas zum Schreiben:

    Again

    I'm sitting here thinking of you
    And ask myself what I should do
    Why this must happen.
    You don’t even have a weapon
    but it hurts like you have one
    and I have none.
    The only thing I’ve wanted was to talk to you
    And to see you
    To look in your face
    And see your grace
    But now this fades
    Like shades
    And I try to hold them
    But the precious gem
    Which they cover
    Begins to hover
    Away from me
    Until I can’t see
    You anymore
    It’s sore
    That I can only try
    And at the end cry
    I don’t want to accept
    But I have to show respect
    Of the destiny
    Which covers eternity


    Alternative ending:

    But maybe there is a light
    Which will let me fight
    To change this fate
    it’s not to late
    so I try
    and hope you have no other fish to fry

    Geändert von Cool (17.03.2004 um 23:32 Uhr)

  11. #11
    Double Search

    And there he goes
    Seeking the sunlight which hides
    And for which he fights
    It forms his life
    With a sharp knife
    It cuts the new decisions
    And (in) his visions
    Deep into his face
    And forms so his grace
    Later when he tell about
    All the people only shout
    They don’t know what lies behind
    And what he tried to find
    Everything converts to memories
    Also she’s,
    and lose his weight
    until you can only see a shade
    of the things which once were so significant
    which[FONT=arial]/[/FONT]who he lend his hand
    He lives in a 3 second presence
    Which all say is the only essence
    Don’t care about the future or the past
    The one will became present and the other fades fast.
    But why live now when all will become then in one night
    Fading away on his side
    This is the question he ask
    And which to answer is his task
    When he looks up at the moon
    He know it is soon
    Time to change search
    To emerge
    From the sea of despair
    Which fills his hate
    It is fate?
    To dive
    Into a new life
    A new perspection
    And a new reaction.

  12. #12
    Lost to be Found

    Yesterday I found you.
    As I always do
    I thought I found the greates treasure
    So that I can’t really realize your measure
    At first I forgot my memories
    I thought they rest in peace
    But then they stang in my perception
    So that I had to read their caption
    And than I knew
    This isn’t new.
    I already thought that before
    And swore
    it will happen no more
    But now I’m standing here
    Don’t know if I can bear
    The insight which this brings.
    But I don’t pull the strings
    I’ve already found a treasure
    Of which I now not even know it’s measure
    It was a trap
    Which left a vacant gap
    Inside my soul
    Which actually symbolizes almost the whole.
    Now I don’t know how to react
    Is it a fact
    That it’s always a pretty illusion?
    Is this the conclusion?
    But if I don’t try…
    Am I shy…?
    How will I know what it holds
    Until it unfolds?
    I think I’ll try
    And maybe I’ll fly…

  13. #13
    Was jemand auch sagen.. Du bist wirklich gut. Ich liebe "Dancing snow". (Ja, ok. Ich habe nun nicht alles gelesen, muB ich noch tun. Aber ich speichern es.. und lese es dannach noch, Gut.) TschüB

  14. #14
    @Hirvine Vielen Dank . Freut einem immer zu lesen wenn das was man geschrieben hat anderen gefällt ^^

    Kommt mir zwar nicht so gelungen vor dieses Gedicht, aber ich poste es trotzdem mal. Das 2. an dem ich gerade schreibe wird hoffentlich wieder besser.

    Fated feelings

    How can I trust my feelings anymore?
    They betrayed me too often before.
    I know it wasn’t your fault
    That you brought me to naught.
    What other thing could you do?
    Because you are you
    Maybe I should start to believe in fate
    which wields a sharp blade
    which I can’t evade.
    Maybe I only can’t see the sense
    Because I’m bound to the tense
    And can’t break through this fence.
    And maybe one day
    I can say
    I’ve met a girl
    who doesn’t hurl
    me around like a ball
    who catches me when I fall
    and for whom I’m more than a friend
    so this story would end.

    Geändert von Cool (13.04.2004 um 17:46 Uhr)

  15. #15
    Dried tears

    I’m unable to cry.
    My tears already dry
    before they left the eye.
    I’m only 16 years old,
    but emotionally already so cold?
    Maybe I’ve experienced too much,
    so that nothing can touch
    my heart which is broken.
    It was only a token,
    which was lost at the first game.
    It was always the same
    and no one to blame.
    They say it always was my fault,
    because I didn’t caught
    what they said.?
    I don’t manage it to get that out of my head.
    Did they really said
    something about me
    or the fee
    I now have to pay
    day for day?
    I can only remember
    how they douse the last ember
    of hope
    with which I tried to cope
    the game of life
    which dances with me jive. (in der Art von mit mir Schlittenfährt gedacht. Stimmt zwar wahrscheinlich nicht aber es hat gerade gepasst.. Künstlerische Freiheit ^^)
    Why can’t I compete?
    I feel the heat
    of rage
    which wants to break its cage.
    Maybe the only feeling left,
    the other fell victims to a theft.
    A theft that left me nothing and all alone.
    Or exists there a sin for which I have to atone?
    A sin which I don’t know I have done
    Or maybe all was just fun?
    And they didn’t thought a thing,
    were just playing,
    without knowing the rules
    like fools.
    But it isn’t their heart which is now lost
    And which is replaced by frost.
    A frost which burns inside
    With such a light
    That I can’t see the truth anymore
    It is sore
    That every time I try
    I cannot even cry.

  16. #16
    Back in Time

    I’m back in time
    And can see the present which was mine.
    I can see my mistakes
    And my fakes
    I see the same faces
    Follow the same traces
    Visit the old places.
    Solving the old cases
    Feel again old sorrow and pain
    Thinking again everything is vain
    Fade away in eternity
    Seeing my destiny
    Searching for the same answers
    Try to cure the cancers,
    Which effected me long time ago
    And I thought always as my foe.
    Not able to understand
    That they lend me a hand.
    By shaping myself this times
    And setting my limes.
    I’m reading my thoughts
    Which I wrote down like this lines

    Geändert von Cool (26.06.2005 um 17:12 Uhr)

  17. #17
    Mir ist grad was aufgefallen.
    Dieses und die anderen Gedichte haben eines gemeinsam: Du schreibst sie mit dem Vokabular eines Menschen, der Englisch gelernt hat, nicht mit dem eines Poeten. Was ich meine, ist die Tatsache, als hättest du einfach nur immer hundertprozentig passende Wörter gesucht und sie hintereinander gestellt, und im Ganzen hört sich das dann irgendwie langweilig an. Bestes Beispiel ist "Try to cure the cancers". Die Idee ist ja toll, aber es klingt schon so, als hättest du krampfhaft einen Reim gesucht. Im Deutschen nehmen die Dichter ja auch oft andere Schreibarten oder Abkürzungen. Vielleicht solltest du dich mehr auf den Inhalt konzentrieren und die Wörter, die eigentlich passen würden, nicht durch sich reimende ersetzen, sondern die passenden abändern.

    Das letzte Gedicht ist inhaltlich zugegebenermaßen ziemlich genial rübergbracht, und wie auch bei den anderen ist das Ende Wirklich ziemlich cool.

  18. #18
    Zitat Zitat von La Cipolla
    Mir ist grad was aufgefallen.
    Dieses und die anderen Gedichte haben eines gemeinsam: Du schreibst sie mit dem Vokabular eines Menschen, der Englisch gelernt hat, nicht mit dem eines Poeten. Was ich meine, ist die Tatsache, als hättest du einfach nur immer hundertprozentig passende Wörter gesucht und sie hintereinander gestellt, und im Ganzen hört sich das dann irgendwie langweilig an. Bestes Beispiel ist "Try to cure the cancers". Die Idee ist ja toll, aber es klingt schon so, als hättest du krampfhaft einen Reim gesucht. Im Deutschen nehmen die Dichter ja auch oft andere Schreibarten oder Abkürzungen. Vielleicht solltest du dich mehr auf den Inhalt konzentrieren und die Wörter, die eigentlich passen würden, nicht durch sich reimende ersetzen, sondern die passenden abändern.

    Das letzte Gedicht ist inhaltlich zugegebenermaßen ziemlich genial rübergbracht, und wie auch bei den anderen ist das Ende Wirklich ziemlich cool.
    Ja da hast du Recht. Es passiert öfters das ich nach Wörtern suche die sich reimen und auch zu meinem Inhalt passen. Ich werd mal versuchen mir deinen Tipp zu Herzen zu nehmen
    Danke für das Lob ^^ Freut mich wenn du mit meinen Gedichten was anfangen kannst.

  19. #19
    Absolute End

    In a night full of hope and despair,
    I got the message which I too much care.
    Again I felt sorrow and pain.
    Everything seemed vain.
    The barrage which repressed my tears broke apart,
    The void was gone, which dominated my heart;
    Substituted for feelings which I hoped never to be linked to you.
    You saw my inner soul,
    And could understand my being as a whole,
    But my heart had to be shattered this time.
    It was no crime,
    Because you had no other choice;
    You didn’t want to hear all the time my voice,
    And feel my closeness,
    Because for you it already seemed endless.
    You just wanted a friend,
    Who would lend you a hand.
    I wanted more.
    Now every thought about you seems sore.
    For me this has to be the absolute end.
    Every new hope which arises will only rend (me)
    How should it go on?
    Has a cruel fate won?
    Does it actually exist?
    I’m lost in mist;
    Your hand, which guided me before, disappears.
    With my eyes still full of tears,
    I’m trying to see another way,
    To feel again the sunlight of the day.
    Although everything is dark,
    There is always a spark.
    I just can’t see through my tears yet,
    But sometime I will; you bet.
    While I’m trying to rescue my heart,
    Knowing the hole you left behind will stay of me a part,
    It’s starting to rain, clearing the mist.
    As I can see the surrounding again my hands become fists.
    I remember that the world doesn’t care about you,
    Everyone else is laughing like I also was used to with you.
    My tears are being washed away, so that nobody can see,
    What is happening inside of me.
    While turning away from this scene,
    I’m trying to forget how it has been:
    How glad I felt seeing your smile,
    How fascinated I was by your style.
    The path I went down with you was full of light.
    I should have been aware that it can’t always be that bright.
    Now the path has ended at a fork. You’ve chosen the one way
    I have to choose the other, did you say?
    I look at the raindrops falling from the skies.
    They seem like being tears from somebody who cries,
    Shattered when they reach the ground
    I get scared by that sound,
    Because I know that I am still falling
    Waiting for the impact, which will stop my calling
    In the raindrops in front of me
    I’m starting to see:
    Memories about you
    Experiences I had with you.
    They all fall down with the drops of rain.
    I have to ask myself if I can stand it or go insane.
    Like a curtain in a theatre which drops to indicate the end of the act,
    I just have to accept this end as a fact.
    Wherever the path in front will lead me
    I need to start walking to see
    Without breaking my neck,
    Which would be caused if I ever look back.

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