I found myself the recent recipient of two live catfish and needed to gut them for the recipe I was using. Getting the skin off a catfish is hard, normally there's a hook you hang them through right under the mouth. I didn't have one, so in my wisdom my friend and I pulled out the hammer and a nail. Clubbed the fish on the head, made the cuts and tried to nail the head into the kitchen wall. The drywall wasn't strong enough to support yanking the skin off so I just ended up with a small hole in my wall and blood all over.
Ended up having to prop up a pong table and nailing it to that. Damn thing was still alive though, it woke up after finding out the wall didn't work.
The second fish was larger and I discovered the nail wasn't long enough to go through the head (I bashed the fuck out of this one's skull). Our solution was to pull out another pair of pliers and having some tug of war. It worked, but the hole in the head as well as having it's head yanked weirdly and likely completely crushed yielded some blood on my floor.
When gutting and cutting for fillets, my friend who doesn't cook much wanted to do his. Sliced his palm pretty bad with the knife. I haven't let friends use my knives anymore, everyone who has has cut themselves.
The fishes were delicious and well worth the hassle.
Niggahz, they got me!