Ianus, Link. Zitat If you diagnose a patient with gonorrhea, be sure to ask if she has any family members she would like to treat as well, because I was at a loss when I was asked the question "Should I treat my dog, too?" Sitting on the porch minding your own business is the #1 cause of knife wounds. If somehow a ping pong ball should make its way into your rectum and you cannot retieve it, do not mix yourself a cement enema--as this will only make your problems worse. No, you may NOT eat if you have come in for "severe" abdominal pain. "See, I told you I was having a heart attack, look at the monitor, its a flat line" Woman comes into the ER. States that she has a sore belly/abdomen. A pelvic exam reveals some interesting findings. First, her vaginal vestibule is being held closed with a number of safety pins that are beginning to rust (if I remember correctly). When these are removed, several pieces of chicken- presumably making up a whole bird, were subsequently removed from her vagina. She then revealed that she was desperate to get pregnant, and thought that shoving a chicken "up there" and fastening it closed woud do the trick. After you bring your 775 lb body to the ED to w/u a foul odor from your rectum and upon examination (with one person holding up the left buttocks with all his might) a lost television remote is found abscessed inside your gluteal fold, by all means, ask if you can have it back because you were tired of changing channels with your cane and by throwing objects at the television. Really, there is no need to question just how or why the remote is there... If you are 13 and feeling....experimental....Don't use the dish hose from the sink as your ambassador to rectal pleasure. If you do, the spring-loaded handle thingy will open after you shove it up past the anus, making it impossible to get out. If you've been stabbed in the head and blood is jetting out of your temporal artery taking a shower to wash off the blood before coming to the ER won't help. ...
Stichwortwolke anzeigen
Foren-Regeln
Kontrollzentrum
Zitat
Berechtigungen
