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14.01.2004, 02:38
And thats how it should be

Tears of hate shattered my Eyes
I see always your smiling face at my site.
Even your death canīt wash it away
But sincerely then I wonīt let you go.

Canīt say Iīm good for a smile
But then, only she noticed my pain.
And she had give me an impression of live.
Yet, even now she is dead I canīt forget.

I wonīt forget, because she was a reason of smile.
And now Iīm feeling of nothing as cry.
Someday you told me Iīm pretty egoistic.
When I think about it, you are absolutley right.

I couldnīt tell you how I really feel.
Even in your last moments of breath, I had nothing to say.
Yet, after you leaved me, Iīm crying.
What am I?

Nowadays when I past the streets.
Smoke and burning teasing my face.
And if people speak, I donīt give any answer.
What art of livestyle is this?

Sometimes I donīt feel like Iīm alive.
But at that time- I sensed more as this feeling.
Perhaps it was happiness.
Even it was only for a short time.

After I had realized this, I became more hatred about myself.
Because I donīt had courage. Because Iīm weak.
I couldnīt even say a word of hope to you.
All I was concerned about was myself.

How darn, this makes me sick.
How it comes, God gave this person like me a live?
How it comes he take a live, cheerful as hers?
When I think about it she was a better than me, in many ways.

Why did God do this? Take lives of those who are strong.
Let live pathetic and shamefull people like me.
I didnīt understand it in the past.
And if Iīm faithfull to myself even today I donīt understand it.

After this realitionship I ended in crime.
Every day of my life, luck goes with me, but I know.
I know someday dead comes to everbody.
Iīm looking forward this day.

Perhaps then I can smile.
At night, I wonīt find a way to sleep.
It has been like this since a long time.
But when I closed my eyes, I noticed this moment comes nearer.

If Iīm dead hate and fault will be gone away.
When Iīm truthfull to myself, Iīm already dead.
A died a long long time ago.
It was at that moment I couldnīt take responsibilty for what had I done.

Perhaps this is the way how it should be.

Die Rechtschreibung ist nicht so gut, aber ich hoffe trotzdem das es einigen gefallen hat. Das ist mein erster Versuch ein Gedicht auf Englisch zu schreiben :)